


You Got That Master Plan

by SeventhStrife



Series: I Got My Whole Sunshine [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward Conversations, Confrontations, Denial, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Blow Jobs, Hide Is Done With This Shit, Hide is literally the sun, Kaneki Is Literally Going To Die Of Blushing, M/M, Oral Sex, POV Kaneki Ken, Praise Kink, Resolved Sexual Tension, Self Confidence Issues, Touka and Nishiki are Bros, slight exhibitionism kink mentioned, talking it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:18:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7988119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeventhStrife/pseuds/SeventhStrife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the universe teaches Kaneki that running away from your problems doesn't <em>solve</em> your problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Remember how I said I would write a sequel? To everyone's surprise (including my own) I did it!
> 
> I haven't even really been in the TG fandom in a hot minute, but my sister started the series and I took one look at Hide's sun shining face and Kaneki's crying one and needed the fluff.
> 
> I haven't been writing as much as I used to, and I'm afraid I've lost some of my grasp of these characters, so feel free to leave a comment and let me know how I did.
> 
> Thanks!

Kaneki doesn’t mean to ignore him. He has every intention of answering the phone.

_ Really. _

Only, his eyes are staring, shocked, at his cell phone’s screen and the image of the two of them: Kaneki deep asleep and Hide smiling wide and smug, hair a mess. 

Kaneki would be lying if he said that he hadn’t imagined seeing Hide again. Bumping into him suddenly in the street, reconnecting, sharing another memorable, wonderful night in each other's arms—it’s barely been a day, and already he’s spent countless minutes lost in thought, remembering Hide’s laugh and the easy comfort of his presence.

But for all his daydreaming,  _ this  _ scenario—a  _ phone call _ —never crossed his mind.

Maybe because it was so simple, so sensible. Fantasizing is one thing, but this suddenly real and attainable situation—it’s too much.

Doubt and insecurity, companions so familiar to him it’s almost a relief to welcome them back, rear their heads, keeping his thumb frozen over the  _ answer  _ button.

_ What could he possibly want with me? _

Kaneki glances up and around his apartment and tries to take it in with the eyes of a stranger.

Small. Plain. So tidy some would probably think it staged for a new renter to look through.

And at the end of the day, isn’t that Kaneki down to a tee? Dull, flat, and so very, very boring. Hide, however—Kaneki can’t imagine any of those words describing him, sober or not. He was loud, and brash, and confident, and kind, and happy, and— 

Everything Kaneki wasn’t.

Kaneki’s heart turns cold at the thought of Hide coming to this realization. It wouldn’t take long. Sobriety and daylight would be enough to throw Kaneki into harsh relief, and then what? He can perfectly see Hide’s bright brown eyes losing their spark of amusement and desire, watching him tiredly with eyes glazing over, politely trying to hide his irritation and disappointment as he makes his excuses and swiftly exits Kaneki’s life as soon as he came.

The phone stops ringing and Kaneki collapses back on his bed, sighing deeply to rid his chest of the conflicting weight of disappointment, relief, and resignation.  

_ It’s better this way, _ Kaneki decides. One amazing night of fun and sex doesn’t erase the fact that they don’t know each other and that Hide just doesn’t know better. Kaneki’s good for an easy lay, as last night demonstrated, but not much else.

This way, they both win. Kaneki gets to keep the wonderful, perfect memory of their time together without tainting it with his inability to keep from disappointing other, and Hide doesn’t have to waste his time investing in someone he has nothing in common with.

He can be content with this. It’s a little saddening that they’ll never cross paths but for the most part Kaneki just feels lucky for the experience. 

A day or two, and the calls will stop. Kaneki will wait patiently, Hide will shrug, and they’ll both get on with their lives.

It’s better this way.

Really.


	2. best-laid plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, you guys are awesome! The reviews I received after I posted the first chapter were so funny I literally laughed out loud. I'm really glad that you guys are excited for this even though it's been so long.
> 
> Enjoy chapter 2!

A sudden insistent vibrating from his pocket makes Kaneki start. He nearly misses a step and is saved from falling flat on his face by Touka reaching out lightning-fast to grasp his upper arm. 

“Again with that?” she asks, irritation creeping into her voice. 

Kaneki shrugs sheepishly, pulling out his phone with an apologetic smile on his face, but says nothing.

“What’s that even about, anyway? You’ve been getting an obnoxious amount of calls all week.” 

Angling the phone so that Touka can’t see the screen, Kaneki takes a split second to see that it’s Hide before silencing and shoving it back in his pocket.

“Wrong number,” he mumbles and Touka accepts it, making a quiet, derisive noise.

“Well, next time actually answer it and tell  _ them  _ that. It’s getting annoying watching you have a heart attack every time your phone rings.”

Kaneki makes a noncommittal noise, avoiding Touka’s gaze, and receives an eye roll in turn. Thankfully, she drops it, leaving Kaneki to frown at the sidewalk.

He can’t understand it. It’s been a week  _ exactly _ yet Hide continues to call. He’s absolutely relentless, calling several times a day, yet that’s nothing to the avalanche of text messages filling Kaneki’s inbox. The first few, starting off with,  _ y rnt u answering ur phone????  _ and  _ did i make u mad?  _ had guilt squirming unpleasantly enough in the pit of his stomach to put him off any more, and he’s been steadily ignoring them.

By now he’s actually saved in Kaneki’s phone as  _ Hide,  _ if for no other reason than to avoid the possibility of someone catching the previous contact name,  _ The Best Lay I Ever Had,  _ and causing Kaneki to die of embarrassment.

It still doesn’t change the fact that though the name now simply reads  _ Hide  _ it still makes Kaneki’s face flush because it’s yet another reminder that he slept with an almost stranger a week ago without even taking enough time to learn his last name.

And the worst part of this whole thing? Some small, traitorous part of Kaneki can’t help but feel  _ flattered. _ Only a handful of hours together, yet they were eventful enough that Hide wanted to repeat them.

Kaneki scolds himself as the thoughts creep in again, threatening to darken his blush and make his traitorous heart beat faster. 

_ This is all because Hide doesn’t know what he’d getting into, _ Kaneki reminds himself. The real Kaneki isn’t that fun, dancing person Hide met before. He’s boring and spineless and completely undesirable. Even his own family saw that.

Kaneki forces his thoughts back to the present when Touka clicks her tongue, checking her watch as they draw near the campus library.

“That asshole better not be late,” Touka mutters, eyes sweeping the grounds impatiently. She hates to be kept waiting.

“He’ll be here soon,” Kaneki soothes her. “His class isn’t far from here.”

And sure enough, they’ve only idled outside the library step for less than a minute when Nishiki appears, shouldering his backpack and strolling to them casually.

“Yo,” he greets, glancing over the two of them.

Kaneki raises a hand to give an awkward wave while Touka blows a strand of hair out of her face.

“About time,” she says, crossing her arms and cocking her hip to the side. “I hate waiting for old geezers. They always take too long.”

Nishiki’s eyebrow twitches and he gets this twisted, irritated smile on his face that only Touka can bring out of him as if he’s torn between proud amusement and honest annoyance.

“You still don’t have any respect,” he observes, raising a brow. “Well, sorry, I keep forgetting how impatient children are when they have to stand in one place for longer than five seconds.”

“It’s fine, I know the elderly have an awful memory.”

It’s like this the entire way to lunch, the two of them bickering back and forth, Kaneki quietly drifting along, shaking his head with a fond smile tugging on his lips. There was a time when these snide comments made Kaneki scramble to mediate but now he knows to just let them at it, can recognize the entertainment and enjoyment they get from the teasing.

Kaneki doesn’t fully understand insulting someone for pleasure, but, well. As long as they’re happy, right?

The fast food restaurant is near the campus and thus only a short walk. As Nishiki holds open the door for the two of them, he glances down at his phone and scowls. 

“What?” Touka asks as the air conditioning rushes over them and ruffles their hair. The corner of her lips lifts in the tiniest hint of a smirk. “Did your girlfriend finally come to her senses and break up with you?”

Nishiki scoffs scornfully. “Just because  _ your  _ girlfriend is gone doesn’t mean you get a free pass to be extra-bitchy.”

“Whatever,” Touka replies, running a hand through her bangs. For just a moment, something vulnerable and soft creeps into her gaze, but it’s gone in a moment. Kaneki glances at her with concern, wanting to comfort her, to tell Touka that Yoriko will be coming back soon enough; it's only for the length of a semester and when will Yoriko get another chance to study the art of a patisserie in France?

But Touka reacts as favorably to sympathy as someone would a kick in a face; Kaneki learned his lesson long ago. If he wants to soothe Touka, he keeps silent and is simply there, maybe makes her some coffee. Usually, it’s enough.

“And to answer your earlier question, I’m expecting someone. My dumbass roommate. He forgot to give me his half of the rent so he’s going to meet me here so he can give it to me.”

Nishiki’s eyes dart to their faces behind his glasses, subtly making sure a surprise visit from a stranger doesn’t make them uncomfortable. Kaneki is fine with it, and he doubts it even phases Touka.

The moment passes, and they all approach the counter and order their food—burgers all around—and choose a table to eat. 

“I normally wouldn’t bother,” Nishiki picks back up once they’re all settled. “All this messaging back and forth is annoying and I'd usually just get the money from him later, but it’s due today, and his schedule is so erratic. God,” Nishiki gives a long-suffering sigh, dipping a fry in ketchup, “He’s so annoying. He’s so hyper and he sings all the damn time.”

Kaneki and Touka share a glance, quick and amused, before Nishiki notices. They aren’t fooled. Nishiki tends to say one thing, but completely mean another, and they know him well enough to recognize his own particular brand of reluctant affection.

“Yeah, I think I remember you talking about him,” Touka muses, stirring the straw in her water absently. She pulls the straw out to point at Nishiki, her other hand the resting place for her chin. “Isn’t he the ‘shitty brat’ who came home wasted and had really loud sex while you were trying to sleep?”

Kaneki colors a deep red, both from the blunt way Touka describes it, shameless, and the parallels to his night last week.

“Unfortunately.”

Touka gives a smirk. “You’re just jealous because you’re not getting any.”

“Neither are you, punk.”

From there, they descend into bickering once more. Kaneki gives himself a few moments to focus on his meal before he gently steers the conversation in the direction it needs to go in for this trip to be worth it. All three have very different schedules between work and school and these weekly meet-ups are the best way to catch up, connecting between classes and having the spare time since they are all free most weekends.

Touka’s boxing instructor has decided to have her teach a few beginners lessons; Nishiki might be starting a new job, working at a large pharmaceutical chain; Kaneki’s half-way through his reading list and so far has top marks in his English course.

The only thing that falls outside of the pattern is Nishiki periodically checking his phone or glancing to the door of the restaurant. But it’s such a slight deviation that Kaneki hardly notices it, at least until Nishiki glances up once more and his eyes stay put instead of sliding away.

His hand goes up with a casual wave and he raises his voice enough so that he can be heard.

“Hide! Over here!”

Like ice water has been poured over him, Kaneki freezes for a split second, eyes going wide. Before he can stop himself, he twists in his seat in sync with Touka, heart sinking and stomach twisting even though he’s telling himself,  _ ‘there’s no way, it’s probably a common name, it can’t be, it  _ **_can’t_ ** _ be’. _

Except it can, because there’s Hide, arm raised to return Nishiki’s greeting, smiling wide as he. Comes. Closer.

Dread chills Kaneki’s insides and speeds his heart, yet even still Hide somehow looks even  _ more  _ attractive than he remembers, all golden skin and wild blond hair. When he smiles it’s as if sunlight pours out of him and tinges the air with light, sucking away any darkness, casting away shadow, taking the very air and Kaneki isn’t  _ breathing,  _ any second now Hide will  _ see  _ him and he  _ isn’t ready,  _ he won’t  _ ever  _ be ready— 

Their eyes connect and everything stops. Time, breath, life on earth as he knows it. For one long, suspended moment, the only thing Kaneki can think is:

_ Oh, no. _

Hide’s eyes widen, there’s definitely recognition in his gaze, and Kaneki can’t deal with this on top of whatever scene he’s about to cause. Not with two of his closest friends to spectate, to possibly make worse when they find out he’s kept this rather large secret from them.

Flushing with embarrassment, Kaneki turns away, sinking his teeth through his bottom lip, absolutely rigid. His food waits for him patiently on his tray and he swallows.

He’s lost his appetite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS! Seriously, they're such a great motivation.


	3. no sudden moves

“You’re late, asshole.”

Nishiki speaks and time moves forward once more. Kaneki’s heart thunders madly in his chest, so hard he thinks it’s beating must be visible through his shirt. Kaneki's hands twist in the hem, gripping tightly.

The only thing that keeps him from following his desperate desire to run out without a backward glance is the explanation his friends would demand; that, and not knowing what Hide would say once he’s gone.

To Kaneki’s utter horror, Hide sits with them, at the last available seat at their table. 

Directly in front of him.

Kaneki barely withholds a whimper of misery and tenses impossibly further, wishing the ground would swallow him up.

“Hide, this is Touka and Kaneki. Guys, this is my idiot roommate, Hide.”

Mouth completely dry, Kaneki manages to murmur out a quiet greeting, face burning. It’s completely drowned out by Touka’s louder, much more interesting hello.

“So you’re the guy who blew up a microwave?”

Hide laughs and Nishiki sighs long-sufferingly.

“In my defense, it was a very important experiment.”

Nishiki  _ ‘tsked’.  _ “Yeah, to see if you could blow up a microwave.”

Hide chuckles again. “I paid for the damage, didn’t I? Stop living in the past, man.”

To Kaneki’s ears, Hide sounds fine. More than fine, actually. Just...normal, as if Kaneki’s unexpected appearance isn’t affecting him at all.

Kaneki ruthlessly ignores the part of him that dares to feel hurt and tries to focus on the positives. 

Aside from when Kaneki first spotted him, Hide isn’t acting strangely. Maybe he just imagined the shock in Hide’s gaze? 

Maybe he lucked out and Hide...doesn’t remember him.

And why should he? They were both drunk, it was dark, and drunk-Kaneki is very different from sober-Kaneki. The more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. Just because it was a very special and treasured time for him doesn’t mean it was the same for Hide. Sure, Hide’s been rather persistent trying to reach him, but it could be his pride and nothing more. Hide is so bright and happy and likable—he’s probably just not used to being ignored.

Feeling a strange mixture of resigned sadness and acceptance, Kaneki decides to chance a glance up.

Brown eyes are staring straight into his and Kaneki’s heart leaps to his throat. Hide’s expression...Kaneki can hardly define it. In the moment their eyes meet, Hide’s face is completely devoid of the carefree smile and easy confidence Kaneki had gotten used to seeing in the short time he’s spent with him.

Instead, his gaze is serious and intense, watching Kaneki as if he’s trying to pluck the answers out of him from whatever he can see on Kaneki’s face.

Shock is replaced with full-on embarrassment and Kaneki looks back down, feeling his skin go hot. 

So much for not being recognized. The small bit of pleasure he feels at being remembered is completely overwhelmed by guilt and discomfort. Oblivious to the tension, Touka and Nishiki make normal conversation, Hide chiming in easily, although now Kaneki is hyper-aware of him, of his eyes on him and every laugh, complaint, and shift of movement he makes.

Even worse, Kaneki is even more hyper-aware of  _ himself,  _ sitting silent and small in his seat, hunched over in his dull, frumpy clothes, his overall plainness thrown into relief beneath the harsh overhead fluorescent lights. 

Here, there’s no darkness or shadows or even erratically flashing light to hide how utterly ordinary he is. Shame and disgust make him swallow, hands tightening their vice-grip at the hem of his shirt.

A hand suddenly gripping his shoulder startles him and Kaneki looks to his side, where Touka is watching him in her quietly worried way, dark eyes searching his face.

“Are you okay? Your face is kinda red…”

Now  _ everyone’s  _ attention is on him and Kaneki suddenly feels too crowded, ill at ease and very much done with getting scrutinized and being found lacking.

“I’m fine,” Kaneki says dismissively, not looking anyone in the face, and rises. 

“I’m going to the bathroom for a second, excuse me.” Walking away as fast as he can without looking like he desperately wants to run, Kaneki lets himself into the bathroom and is quick to lock the door behind him when he finds it’s only big enough for a single stall.

Feeling suddenly exhausted, Kaneki takes the few steps necessary to draw him even with the sink and braces himself on it, head hanging.

It’s only been a few minutes, but already Kaneki feels like he’s reached his limit. Deception doesn’t come naturally to him and staying silent and drawn tight as a bow string is only making his friends worried and suspicious. 

Kaneki glances up but, unfortunately, there’s no window nearby. Consequences be damned, Kaneki would  _ kill  _ for a window he could scurry out of without a word of explanation.

Sadly, there is no such escape here, so Kaneki contents himself with making do. 

_ ‘I’m fine,’  _ Kaneki encourages, looking himself sternly in the mirror.  _ ‘I just have to sit there for a little bit, and it’ll be over.’ _  Hide hasn’t mentioned anything, and now that he thinks about it, he might even be embarrassed, too. He probably doesn’t want anyone to know that he got drunk enough to sleep with someone so pathetic.

It’s a strange pep talk, but it works and, resolved, Kaneki unlocks the door, determined to get through this awful lunch and put the entire thing behind him. 

At least this means he can stop expecting random texts and calls from Hide.

Kaneki slips silently back into his seat and as he does so Touka catches his eye. Without a word she seems to ask a thousand question, raise a thousand concerns, and Kaneki soothes them with a single nod, projecting calm the best he can. Touka eyes him a bit longer before shrugging and taking an idle sip of her drink.

Across from them, Hide and Nishiki don’t notice a thing, completely absorbed in an argument of some sort. An argument, Kaneki quickly realizes, that was no doubt started by Touka herself, judging from the satisfied smile creeping on her lips.

“It’s true,” she interjects casually, “If you don’t start treating Kimi better, she’ll leave you.”

Nishiki, defensive despite knowing they’re only teasing, crosses his arms and scowls.

“I don’t understand why you guys are always talking about my girlfriend.”

There’s a pause as they seem to consider the question.

“It’s the only thing interesting about you,” Hide says a beat later. Touka nods in agreement, snickering, and Nishiki’s face darkens.

Kaneki is happy to fade into the background, worriedly stealing glances at Hide when he’s not looking and watching the minutes tick by on his phone beneath the cover of the table. Five, ten, then fifteen minutes go by, and Kaneki tries not to give away his nervousness by fidgeting too bad and breathing normally. His silence isn’t noticed since he’s always been a quiet person, so he at least doesn’t have to struggle to form sentences on top of the cloying anxiety that makes his face hot and his muscles tense.

Then Touka nudges him, jerking her chin at his tray.

“Food’s getting cold, idiot.”

And just like that, his little bubble of protection bursts and he’s once more the focus of the table. Kaneki’s face warms.

“Ah, well...I’m not that hungry.” Deciding he’s stayed for a socially acceptable amount of time, Kaneki grabs his messenger bag from his chair and rises. 

“I feel a little sick, actually. I think I’m going to head home.”

Touka frowns, but before she can say a word Nishiki rises as well. 

“I need to get going, too. I need to get some studying in tonight.”

At that, it becomes clear their time is up and they all leave, Kaneki bringing up the front, desperate for some fresh air and blessed space.

Outside, the four of them exchange handshakes and hugs, nods and caustic parting words, making tentative plans to meet up again. Kaneki steps away, waving as Touka and Nishiki make to go the opposite direction.

To his absolute horror, Hide mirrors him. Kaneki’s mouth dries as Nishiki raises a brow, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

“Aren’t you heading back?”

“Nah,” Hide says, “I’ve got some things to do.” He turns to face Kaneki and, with his face hidden from view, he drops all pretense of his usual easygoing personality, leveling Kaneki with a serious, considering look.

“Might as well walk together since we’re going the same way, right?”

Kaneki can’t speak, his eyes are wide, and his heart is racing in his chest. 

_ ‘Oh, no,’  _ he thinks desperately. He wishes more than anything to blurt out some reason they can’t even be in the same room together, let alone talk, but he glances at his friends and knows he can’t say anything without being rude and creating a very awkward scene.

He glances away and manages a nod, mouth pressed into a thin, worried line. He shoots an involuntary panicked looked to Touka, but she’s already walking away, eyes on her phone. Her mouth curls up in a rare soft way that lets Kaneki know exactly who she's talking to.

Nishiki follows, throwing a parting wave over his shoulder, and Kaneki despairs.

He’s on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best! All the comments and kudos really made my day and we've only got one chapter, maybe two, before this is all wrapped up.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	4. just a walk, just a talk

The first few minutes of their walk is an awkward, stifling mess. Neither of them speaks even though Kaneki had expected the yelling to start as soon as his friends faded from view.

Instead, they walk side by side, several inches of space between them, in silence.

Kaneki feels so tense a gentle breeze would knock him over. But every time he steals a glance at Hide the other is always looking forward, hands in his pockets. He’s almost the picture of ease, if not for the slight frown on his face. He looks deep in thought.

The sun begins to sink as the main part of the city begins to fall away. Kaneki starts taking turns and crosswalks that lead to his apartment complex yet still Hide is just beside him. He never takes a different path or asks to stop. He looks around him with interest, spiky blonde hair waving in the wind.

Eventually (too soon for Kaneki’s tastes) they reach Kaneki’s complex, several stories high and all-over plain, gray concrete. Hide regards the building with the same interest, although Kaneki can’t imagine what there is to like about it. It looks just like the hundreds all over the city.

Hide still hasn’t made a move to leave, however.

Uncomfortably, Kaneki fidgets.

“This...this is me…” he trails off, making a useless gesture to his building. He wants to die, he feels so awkward.

The air is charged with tension, like a bowstring drawn tight enough to snap. Kaneki risks a glance to Hide and is surprised to see him staring at the ground, frown pronounced now more than ever.

Still, he’s silent and Kaneki resigns himself to watching Hide warily, uncertain if he should simply walk away or see if Hide actually has something to say.

He’s not kept in suspense for long.

Hide gives a loud, explosive sigh and shakes his head as if utterly defeated by some great puzzle. He shifts his hands to fists that rest on his hips, mouth twisted in an expression of dissatisfaction.

“I have to admit it, I’m confused,” he says, shrugging. “I thought we both had a really good time, and I’ve been thinking  _ real  _ hard about it all week, believe me, but I just can’t think of what went wrong.”

His hands come up to rest behind his head and he finally looks Kaneki in the eyes, unsmiling and all but radiating hurt.

“So you’ve got to help me out here, Kaneki.”

The guilt comes back again at this impassioned speech, but this time Kaneki can’t placate himself with excuses or ignore it this time, not with Hide right here, watching his every move.

Now he’s forced to see this from Hide’s point of view and how selfish he’s been, keeping Hide in the dark and leaving him confused and wondering all this time when he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Kaneki honestly just didn’t think Hide would be this persistent. He opens his mouth to say as much even though it’s not really much of an excuse when a family exits the building and the two of them have to move to the side to let them pass.

The glances aimed their way are simply curious, but Kaneki’s cheeks burn all the same.

“Do you—want to come up? To talk?”

Hide agrees, that spark of interest back in his eyes, and it takes Kaneki a moment to explain it away; Kaneki’s seen Hide’s apartment, it only makes sense that he’d be curious about Kaneki’s. Kaneki shakes his head resignedly, knowing the sight is less than impressive.

The door to his apartment swings open on silent hinges and Kaneki toes off his shoes at the entrance, hearing Hide follow suit behind him. Kaneki shuts the door behind them and leads the way inside to his small couch, inwardly cringing at how unremarkable his home is. Plain, neat, and utterly insignificant. Hide’s apartment had been messy, yes, but it had  _ life  _ in it. It was warm and welcoming. Kaneki feels cold just looking around at his alphabetized bookshelf and neatly-made bed.

Kaneki nervously gestures to the couch and after a curious look around, Hide sits, looking up at Kaneki expectantly.

Suddenly sitting next to Hide seems impossible, never mind the fact they’ve done much more than sit near one another. Kaneki realizes he’s twisting his hands in his shirt, in full view this time, and makes himself release the fabric.

He needs a minute to  _ breathe. _

“Would you like something to drink?”

Hide’s head tilts slightly, observing Kaneki with something indecipherable in his eyes. He no doubt notices how tense Kaneki is, and nods.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Relieved, Kaneki tries his hardest to keep his pace a brisk walk instead of the desperate sprint he wants to indulge in.

The apartment is small and the kitchen is just a few feet from the couch, but that space makes all the difference in the world. Kaneki takes deep breaths as he gets a glass and grabs the pitcher of water from inside the refrigerator.

He’s trying to calm himself but it’s very difficult. He’s never been in a situation quite like this and he’s at a loss at what do, what Hide wants, what  _ he  _ wants.

He doesn’t know Hide very well, but Kaneki really doesn’t think he’s the violent type, so there’s no  _ rational  _ reason for him to be this nervous about  _ talking.  _ He holds the glass and pours with the other hand, giving himself a pep talk.

Hide just wants answers, he reasons. He wants Kaneki to explain himself, and then he’ll be gone. The thought isn’t as reassuring as he’d hoped it would be.

“Kaneki?”

Kaneki startles so bad he drops the glass. It shatters on the ground at his feet and he hurriedly steps away to avoid the water and shards.

Hide’s standing in the doorway, eyes wide, and Kaneki immediately flushes as acute embarrassment sets in. He can’t even do this simple task without making a fool out of himself.

“Sorry!” Kaneki apologizes, setting aside the pitcher and turning to open a drawer. He takes out several dish towels and lays them on the floor, soaking up the water.

He means to say more, apologize again and make excuses and ask Hide to wait a bit longer, preferably back on the couch, but shame makes his throat close and he silently gets to work cleaning the mess, feeling Hide watching him and wishing so, so desperately that a stray piece of glass had gotten airborne and slit his throat just so he wouldn’t have to endure such a painfully unpleasant moment.

He’s only left to stew for a few seconds before Hide is there before him, getting his knees soaked as he leans over and snatches at the pile of towels to help stop the large puddle from spreading too far.

“Jeez,” he says, his tone a cross between something exasperated and amazed. “You’re really worked up over this, huh?”

Denial isn’t even an option. He’s right, and with the sudden startlement combined with his anxiety of the looming conversation, his hands are shaking.

He sucks in a sharp breath, going still when Hide’s hand covers his, stilling the tremors.

“Kaneki,” he says, his voice very gentle, “Relax. I’m not mad. I just want to know what happened.”

Kaneki meets Hide’s eyes and the sheer concern and sincerity makes him blurt out, without thinking and almost defensively to protect himself from the kindness, “Sorry.”

Then, he closes his eyes in dismay, because an apology is the exact opposite of what Hide asked for. But apologizing is all he knows how to  _ do. _

Hide chuckles, shaking his head ruefully, eyes going soft and fond.

“You’re so cute.”

Kaneki has never had his terrible, spineless apologies met with anything other than exasperation or scorn. And he finds he simply can not  _ understand  _ this man before him, who somehow manages to think that everything Kaneki loathes about himself is somehow worthwhile. He’s not drunk enough to simply accept this kindness and he can’t give Hide the opportunity to continue that line of thought.

“I didn’t call because— “ he’s saying suddenly, because it’s words, it’s distracting, except now Hide’s look of surprise from the outburst is turning into concern and now that he’s started he has to  _ finish  _ and he’s painfully aware of how stilted this farce of a conversation is, how his underdeveloped conversation skills are shining now, and he has to  _ keep talking, why isn’t he talking the silence is going on too long— _

“I...I thought that night was a mistake,” he says quietly, the words dredged up from deep within him and not  _ at all  _ what he meant to say.

The words sit for a moment in the quiet, heavy and chasing away the lingering warmth of Hide’s smile.

“Oh,” Hide says in a voice Kaneki has never heard before and when Kaneki looks up, Hide’s removed his hand and his expression is utterly blank.

Kaneki’s eyebrows draw together in a split-second of confusion, but then he realizes exactly how that sounds, and he pales.

“No! No—wait,” he nearly pleads, hands coming up before him, palms out. “It’s not that I didn’t enjoy myself, I  _ did,”  _ Kaneki’s face goes scarlet at the admission but he shoulders on because when Hide leaves here with a plethora of memories of how much Kaneki embarrassed himself, he’ll at least also have a clear explanation.

“I didn’t mean  _ you.  _ I meant me.”

Hide just looks confused and Kaneki wants to bang his head against the wall for being so incomprehensible.

Kaneki takes a breath, then curls his hands into fists on his knees. He forces the words from his lips, and he says them very, very clearly.

“Choosing me that night. That was your mistake.”

Hide’s brow furrows and he parts his lips but Kaneki is suddenly determined to get his point across.

“I’m not a very likeable person,” Kaneki confesses, glancing away with a helpless shrug. “I’m quiet, and I like to read more than talk, and I’m not strong or outgoing or brave.”  _ Like you. _  “When you found me, I was sitting in the back by myself for a reason. I’m just not very interesting. So, I just thought I’d save you the hassle of...turning me down…” 

Kaneki trails off because Hide’s frown has transformed into a look so downright thunderous Kaneki finds the rest of his words thrown completely from his mind.

“What…” he voice is so low Kaneki instinctively leans a bit closer to hear him properly.

In a lightning-quick move, Hide darts forward and snatches Kaneki by the shoulders.

“WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THAT?!”

Kaneki lets out a shout of surprise from the sheer volume and the way Hide’s shaking him. His heart nearly bursts out of his chest.

“Do you have any idea how  _ worried  _ I was?! I thought it was something  _ I  _ did! I thought I’d taken advantage of you and remembered it wrong or something!”

Dismay shoots through Kaneki sharply. “You didn’t do anything—”

“Yeah, I know that  _ now!” _

Hide releases Kaneki and sighs heavily, shoulders sagging.

“Don’t worry me like that, man!”

“...Sorry?” Kaneki apologizes uncertainly. This whole situation feels like a great deviation from a script and Kaneki can’t even begin to guess his lines. Sure, Hide yelled, but it wasn’t angry, accusing words coming from his mouth. He isn’t insulting Kaneki. He’s not blaming Kaneki.

He’s not leaving.

The apology makes Hide raise his head, giving Kaneki a stern glare that has him straightening on instinct.

“Just talk to me next time, Kaneki. I get that you have doubts or whatever, but I can’t help you if you ignore me like that. Just...call, or text me. I’ll be happy to put your doubts to rest.”

Hide grins then, just as bright and happy as Kaneki remembered and something warm burst in his chest, shy and embarrassingly pleased. The only thing that shows on his face, however, is a deep blush, and as the silence drags on, Hide’s smile dims.

“Er...only if you want, that is,” Hide says, scratching the back of his head and averting his gaze. “I’m not trying to assume anything…”

Hide...Hide actually wants  _ more  _ of this? Of Kaneki’s shockingly overwhelming ineptitude and general social awkwardness? Kaneki’s mouth drops open without his permission, simply staring in blank shock.

The expression must give Hide courage because Hide smiles a bit, shrugging in embarrassment.

“Uh, yeah, so, I’d definitely  _ like  _ to take you out sometime. Like a date? I can’t speak for you, but I...I’d like to give us a chance, you know?” Hide’s dark brown eyes meet his, honest and so earnest Kaneki’s heart leaps in his chest. “Believe it or not, I don’t usually hook up with random people even if I  _ am  _ drunk. I just felt there was a connection here, and I think you do too.” Hide searches Kaneki’s face, uncertainty plain in his body language, in the way his eyes dart around the room and come to rest on Kaneki every few seconds.

“So...what do you say?”

What does he  _ say? _ How can Kaneki say anything when Hide seems determined to render him speechless every time he opens his mouth?

And how could Kaneki not want that chance? He’s only been replaying that wonderful night over and over in his mind since it ended, refusing to tell even his closest friends in some misguided attempt to keep the memory for himself.

Apparently, though, Kaneki’s taking too long because Hide shifts away, creating distance and he’s saying, “You don’t have to, of course, I just thought—” and Kaneki’s eyes widen,  _ oh, no,  _ he’s ruining everything  _ again— _

“No!” Every part of Kaneki’s being seems to cry out with the word and he darts forward to grasp Hide’s hands, his palms over the back of his hands.

“I—yes! Yes, I want that.” He’s entirely too selfish to turn him down and it’s a struggle to make himself understood, flooded by so many thoughts and emotions. But he’s put Hide through enough, the least he can do is make this effort. “Sorry, I‘m just surprised you’d want to—do that.” Kaneki can’t say _date._ He just can’t.

Hide scoffs, his earlier discomfort nowhere to be found. “Of course I do.” Then Hide’s face goes pensive as he considers Kaneki.

“You know…” he starts slowly, clearly feeling the words out, “You  _ were  _ pretty cruel. I  _ specifically  _ remember telling you to call me and everything.”

“I’m sorry.” Kaneki hates that an apology is all he has to offer. Being reminded of his thoughtless actions makes him cringe.

“Yeah? Well, how are you going to make it up to me, hm?”

“Make it…?” Kaneki finds himself at a loss, a feeling he’s beginning to suspect will visit him often if he spends more time with Hide. Kaneki honestly has no idea how to make something up to anyone, let alone in this sort of predicament. Does Hide want money? “I...I don’t know. What do you want?”

“A kiss,” Hide says straightaway, so frank and unashamed Kaneki kind of wants to die.

“Are you serious?” Hide just continues to watch him frankly, a smile tugging on his lips. A smile that grows into a full-blown grin when Kaneki blushes. The sight irks Kaneki, but not seriously. Still. Somehow, Kaneki forgot how much Hide loved to tease.

Well, it looks like he doesn’t have a choice. He  _ owes  _ him after all.

Kaneki leans closer, grumbling, “I can’t if you’re showing all your teeth.”

Hide nods sagely. “Of course.” The smile is still there, but at least his mouth is closed.

“You have to close your eyes.”

“Yes, sir.”

Unsurprisingly, Hide’s eyes off of him don’t soothe his nerves in the slightest. Kaneki pauses, steels himself, then closes the distance.

The kiss is very tentative, like they’re meeting all over again. It’s warm, unhurried, just a press of warm lips against warm, slightly smiling lips.

Kaneki sinks into an easy enjoyment, quietly marveling at how acutely he missed even this fleeting contact, how much he likes the way Hide makes him feel, quieting his intrusive thoughts and warming him through even though they’re barely touching.

Almost in sync, they shift, trying to come closer, but they both yank apart the next second when their knees rest on the cool, water-soaked towels between them.

Hide chuckles, shaking his head, and Kaneki joins him, flushed and happy and unmentionably grateful.

They finish cleaning the mess and steal glances, still smiling, the air charged with possibility instead of tension this time around.

They toss the last of the towels into the laundry basket Kaneki brings over and Kaneki gestures to the refrigerator.

“I can get you water that I won’t spill, if you want?”

Hide laughs. “I would love to, but I’ve got to get going. It’s getting pretty late and I’ve got a few assignments to finish up.”

Startled, Kaneki glances to the clock in his kitchen and realizes Hide’s right. He hadn’t even noticed how dark it had gotten.

Disappointed but trying desperately not to show it, Kaneki nods.

“Oh, okay.”

Kaneki walks him to the door and waits while Hide puts his shoes back on.

“I’ll message you later about that date, okay?” Hide gives him a stern,  no-nonsense look. “You actually have to  _ answer  _ your phone, Kaneki.”

Kaneki gives a sheepish smile. “I will. I promise,” he adds as sincerely as he can when Hide continues to eye him suspiciously.

Hide grins again. “Try not to miss me too bad.”

“Okay,” Kaneki says, sounding way too glum to be considered teasing. His cheeks burn. “I mean—”

Hide looks downright delighted, however, eyes bright and grin larger than life.

" _Woooooooow_ , Kaneki. I didn’t realize you had it so bad.” Hide leans closer, right in Kaneki’s space, and leers, wiggling his eyebrows. “Just can’t get enough, huh?”

“Don’t you have any shame?” Kaneki asks, giving Hide a slight push towards the door.

Mirth shining brightly in his gaze, Hide shuffles back, not quite as close, but just a few inches away.

“I  _ could  _ use a good night kiss, though. Something to last me the cold, lonely walk  _ all  _ the way back to my apartment.”

“It’s seventy degrees outside.”

Hide dismisses the fact with a careless wave of his hand.

“You know what I mean, quit ruining the mood.”

Holding back a snicker, Kaneki lets himself be pulled into the circle of Hide’s arms, barely having to look up to meet warm brown eyes.

Hide lips find his without prompting and just like before, it’s nice and warm and soothing.

Until it isn’t.

Kaneki can’t find it in himself to pull away just yet and Hide apparently feels the same because he doesn’t try to step away either. Hide’s arms pull him closer and Kaneki wraps an arm over his shoulders, raising the other to sink into thick, blond hair.

Hide traces his bottom lip in one, two, three passes and the heat makes Kaneki shudder, timidly mirroring the action.

Their tongues touch and Hide groans, deepening the kiss and shifting his arms to hold Kaneki around the hips.

For a long time they simply move like this together, desire simmering just below the surface of superheated skin. They break apart only to come back again, that ever-present connection their bodies seem to share snapping into taut existence.

Kaneki scrabbles for a bit of sanity, a little afraid of how easy it is to simply lose himself in Hide’s arms and let everything else simply fall away.

“Don’t—don’t you—have to—” His breath catches when Hide presses his lips just underneath his jaw, touching it lightly with his tongue and sucking. His resolve wavers dangerously and he swallows. “Home. You have—work. Homework.”

Hide breaks the contact, the two of them panting as he stares at the floor. His grip on Kaneki’s hips is tight, tight enough to border on pain and a deep, dark part of Kaneki that he refuses to fully acknowledge  _ loves  _ it, craves for more.

Hide lets loose a very low, long breath of air. He raises his head and meets Kaneki’s eyes, his own dark with desire and pupils blown wide. He’s so tense, up until he takes in Kaneki.

He stares for a moment, then something in his expression shifts, changed from tightly reigned control to determination.

“Fuck it,” he says, although he seems to be talking to himself, and in the next instant he’s right back, hands roaming all over as he nearly bends Kaneki in half with the force of his unrestrained desire.

Kaneki’s self-control leaves him and he surges against him with just as much passion. A memory from last weekend visits him and he tangles his fingers in Hide’s hair, tugging lightly.

Hide breaks their kiss abruptly on a sharp inhale and Kaneki nearly whimpers at the look on his face.

_ “Bed,”  _ Hide demands and Kaneki nods dumbly, drinking in the way Hide’s looking at him.

Kaneki steps out of Hide’s arms and shivers at the intense focus his every move is given.

“Over here,” he manages even though he’s breathless.

Shaking with anticipation, Kaneki leads the short way to his room, feeling Hide like a hot shadow at his back, and the second he steps through the threshold Hide’s there, plastered against him. He mouths at Kaneki’s neck as one hand slips beneath his shirt and the other palms the growing hardness between his legs.

Kaneki moans, immediately surrendering, and the hold makes him arch into the touch, his butt grinding into Hide’s crotch where he can feel Hide waiting for him, stiff and ready and feeling  _ so  _ perfect Kaneki wants  _ more, yes, he needs it— _

Kaneki grinds helplessly back, unable to hold back his sounds with every press and squeeze of Hide’s fingers and he tilts his head, chasing more of the groans Hide releases every time he rolls his hips.

Hide’s lips leave his neck and less than a second later Hide’s mouth, hot on his skin, is at his ear.

“Turn around.”

Kaneki does so and Hide’s kissing him again, hands firm at his back. One hand slips to palm his butt and Kaneki tenses slightly, focusing on the soothing strokes. He relaxes into bone-deep satisfaction when Hide squeezes, just  _ this  _ shy of pain, possessive and exquisite.

Their lips continue meet and Hide walks Kaneki backwards slowly until Kaneki’s hitting the edge and he has no choice but to break the contact and fall onto the sheets, dazed and eager for more.

Hide straddles him and his hands pull up the worried-thin hem of Kaneki’s shirt. Kaneki raises his arms to help and watches as Hide tosses it across the room and falls on him like a crashing wave.

Hide splays his fingers wide, trying to touch as much of Kaneki’s bared chest as possible and Kaneki’s breath hitches when he strokes over his nipples and chooses one to stroke with a maddening feather-light touch, the pad of his thumb just barely making contact as he skims it in circles and flicks.

“Ah!” Kaneki jerks, flushing all over, and reaches out to Hide’s shirt. He can’t pull it off, however, because Hide’s too focused on  _ him _ , kissing his skin and moving his hands and making it all together too difficult to get him undressed.

“Shirt,” Kaneki breathes, giving a little tug just in case Hide’s too far gone to get his meaning.

“Busy,” Hide says, his hand sliding down to once more palm the tent forming in Kaneki’s pants. Kaneki nearly chokes. “Take it off.”

With the assault Hide’s giving him, it’s amazing enough Kaneki can manage the brainpower to keep breathing, let alone undress him. Still, skin to skin contact is something Kaneki wants increasingly with every second that passes and he tries to focus, tugging on Hide’s shirt insistently until he gets it bunched up just under Hide’s armpit.

Thankfully, Hide helps him out and leans back. He strips the shirt off, giving Kanek a moment to drink in the way the muscles in his chest and shoulders shift.

Hide’s eyes dart to Kaneki’s face and some of the blistering heat of his gaze leaves. A smirk pulls on his lips and he displays himself with a stretch of his arms, settling them behind his head.

“Like what you see?” he teases coyly, rolling his hips in a way that makes Kaneki see stars.

Kaneki licks his lips and nods.

“Yeah,” and he bring his hand to the bulge in Hide’s pants, covering as much of it as he can with his palm, tracing the length of it, and applying a bit of pressure when he feels the head.

_ "O-oh, shit,”  _ Hide moans, eyes slipping shut and an almost pained look of pleasure crossing his features.

Last time, Hide had been such a force of nature Kaneki had been the one receiving most of the pleasure.

This time, Kaneki finds himself wanting to give it back.

Knowing he has a short window before Hide takes control, Kaneki sits up.

“Lay back, okay?”

Hide’s eyes open, but when he sees Kaneki opening the button of his pants and pulling the zipper down, they widen.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Hide falls onto his back, dark eyes boring holes into Kaneki, and Kaneki swallows a bout of nervousness as he crawls down the length of Hide’s body and pulls his cock out of his underwear.

There’s a bead of pre-come waiting for him and Kaneki tentatively leans in for a taste, the tip of his tongue swiping across and scooping it up.

Hide’s length twitches and he lets out a groan. Kaneki glances up.

Hide looks absolutely  _ wrecked,  _ arms fisted in the sheets even though Kaneki hasn’t even  _ done  _ anything yet, and he’s biting his lip, eyes dark and completely concentrated on Kaneki’s every breath.

“Keep going,” he orders lowly and Kaneki shivers. He thinks he’d do a lot to hear Hide sound like that.

Kaneki’s never done this before, but he remembers when Hide did it for him ( _ God,  _ does he remember) and he thinks if he combines that with what he knows feels good for him, he’ll be okay.

Holding Hide at the base, Kaneki takes him in his mouth, pressing his tongue flat against the bottom as he sinks down.

Another groan greets him and, encouraged, Kaneki rises and sinks again, moving his hand in time with the strokes.

He has to remember to breathe through his nose, and a few times he has to come up for air, but when he does a string of saliva and pre-come keep his lips and Hide connected and the agonized sound Hide makes when he sees this pleases Kaneki to no end.

Even more surprisingly, Kaneki finds he enjoys this, the taste and feel of Hide in his mouth, how heavy he is against his tongue and the thick vein on the underside he can trace and feel twitch against his lips.

It feels decadent and powerful. Like he could do this all day.

It’s not too long before Kaneki feels Hide’s hands tangling in his own hair and a second later, Hide’s hips twitch off the bed, chasing the heat of Kaneki’s mouth.

Startled, Kaneki pulls off.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hide is quick to say. “Didn’t mean to—”

“No, it’s fine,” Kaneki says, alarm fading as he considers. He was just surprised. He finds himself curious, wondering what it would feel like to have Hide losing control, pumping himself in and out of Kaneki’s mouth.

Kaneki lowers himself back, says, “Do it again,” and pops Hide back in his mouth. When Hide just stares, slack-jawed, Kaneki places his hands back in his hair and gives his hips an insistent pat.

Hide’s eyes slide closed, searching for control, and a tight breath eases from between his lips, formed in a small _'oh'_. Kaneki can practically see him asking a higher power for strength.

“I’ll be gentle,” Hide says, eyes opening. The reassurance makes something warm bloom in Kaneki’s chest and he can’t say anything so he does his best to smile with his eyes, trusting that Hide won’t hurt him.

Hands carefully combing through Kaneki’s hair, Hide raises his hips, eyes boring holes into Kaneki’s as he watches himself slowly sink into the hot, wet cavern of his mouth. He pumps a few time, clearly testing the waters and then just can’t seem to help himself. He starts going faster, seemingly entranced with the sight of Kaneki’s lips curved around him, although he’s careful not to go too deep.

_ "Fuck,  _ Kaneki, you’re good, you’re so good, you know that?”

The words makes Kaneki flush hotly and his eyes slip closed as pleasure courses through him, grinding his own hardness into the mattress.

“You look so fucking hot right now,” Hide says, and Kaneki whines around him. “Fuck, I wish I had a camera, you’re so perfect.”

How can Hide say something so shameless? In response, Kaneki flushes hotter, harder than he’s ever been, and he makes this pathetic, whimpering sound, just imagining Hide over him with a camera, taking picture of Kaneki at his most vulnerable, asking him to hold lewd poses, bringing him to the edge and just before he gets there, Hide snaps a picture.

Kaneki’s breath is coming faster, breathing harshly out of his nose, and somehow Hide manages to notice even though he’s pushing in and out of Kaneki’s mouth, even though he should be  _ more  _ than distracted.

“Like that, yeah?” Hide pants. Torn between distress at being caught and frustratingly unreleased tension, Kaneki’s eyes fly open, a pleading in his gaze even he’s not sure means he wants Hide to stop exposing him or to never stop.

“Would you do that for me? Let me take pictures between your legs, your pretty dick bouncing on your stomach while I fuck you into the mattress? Huh?”

As he’s saying this, Hide’s all but gritting his teeth, as if the images are getting to him too, and he seems to expect an answer because he stops pumping and tugs insistently on Kaneki’s hair, not hurting, but enough to let him know he needs to raise his head.

Kaneki just wants to keep going without saying something so embarrassing, but Hide’s not giving him a choice and he wants to watch him finish  _ so badly. _

“Yes,” Kaneki breathes out, his voice a thin, ready thing. He clears his throat, licking at the smears on his lips. “I’d—I’d let you.”

_ “Jesus,  _ Kaneki, you’re going to kill me.”

Hide’s grip relaxes, guides him back, and Kaneki gratefully sinks down, sucking lightly in an attempt to get Hide to fall over that edge.

Hide makes a sound like he’s been punched in the stomach and his hips go faster,  _ now  _ Kaneki feels like he might choke but he doesn’t want to stop, he knows he’s close so he stops tensing, lets his throat relax when Hide prods deep and is rewarded when Hide makes this noise like it’s being wrenched from him—

Hide tugs on his hair, this time in warning.

“I’m—coming,” he grits out, and Kaneki decides he’s fine where he is. He’d really liked it when Hide had swallowed for him, how he made something gross feel like he was being cherished and he wants to pay him back.

Kaneki knows he can’t sink any more without choking so he rises as if he’s going to release Hide and feels the grip in his hair loosen.

But, instead of letting go completely, Kaneki keeps his mouth wrapped around the tip and swipes over it once with his tongue before sucking.

_ "Oh—shi-it ,”   _ Kaneki glances up just in time to see Hide’s head thrown back but then his mouth is full.

Kaneki swallows the first bit, liking the way Hide twitches around his hand and in his mouth, and waits a moment for the second and third bursts to flood his mouth, warm and heavy and sticky.

The taste isn’t great, but he feels accomplished and calls it a win.

When he pulls back, however, a last parting spurt leaves Hide’s spent cock and lands on his lips and dribbles down his chin, catching him by surprise. Kaneki licks it off his lips, rubbing the rest off with the back of his hand, and has no sooner done that when strong, burning hands grasp his shoulders and all but throw him onto his back.

Bouncing slightly, Kaneki only has a split-second to take in Hide’s heaving, sweat-glistened chest before he’s kissing Kaneki like he’s drowning and he can only breathe the air coming straight from Kaneki’s mouth.

Kaneki’s own desire, pushed out of his mind earlier, is now back in full force and suddenly he’s aware of how  _ hard  _ he is, to the point of being painful, confined as he is in his pants.

He must make some sort of noise because Hide breaks the kiss to lean their foreheads together, murmuring, “I know, I gotcha,” and snakes his hands to Kaneki’s hips.

Hide leans away, hooks his fingers in the waistband, and yanks off Kaneki’s pants and underwear in a few efficient tugs. These get the same treatment as his shirt and Kaneki’s left spread out, naked and flushed and all for Hide to explore.

Something softens in Hide’s gaze as he takes a moment to let his eyes sweep up Kaneki’s body to stop at his face.

“How’d I get so lucky?” he asks quietly. Kaneki somehow finds enough blood to blush, but before he reply that’s  _ his  _ line, Hide sinks back down, kissing his lips for a long moment, then his cheek, his chin, and then long, languid licks and sucks all the way down his neck, his chest and nipples, the jut of his hip, until Kaneki’s quivering with need, aching for it so much he’s a little afraid of how quickly it'll be over when Hide  _ does  _ touch him.

To his never-ending relief, he doesn't immediately lose it when Hide decides to stop teasing him and begins to stroke him with one fist, leaning across his body to pepper his neck with more kisses.

Kaneki throws his arms around his shoulders to keep him close, hips stuttering up without his control, chasing after Hide’s fist with every upward glide of his fingers. He’s already so close, it won’t take much to tip him over.

“Ah- _ ah! Hide!” _

Hide chooses that moment to sink his teeth into the skin of Kaneki’s neck, just where his shoulder meets, and Kaneki loses it, spills all over Hide’s hand and the sheets, vision going dark as he squeezes his eyes shut, twitching with little sighs and gasps and every stroke after as Hide coaxes him through the aftershocks.

Finally, when Kaneki comes down, Hide collapses next of them, both of them staring at the ceiling, panting and sweaty and thoroughly sated.

When Kaneki catches his breath, he scoots closer, regardless of the heat, and lays his head on Hide's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Hide reaches up and pets Kaneki’s head and they lay like that for a long while, minutes or hours, Kaneki’s too lazy to check.

Hide lets out a loud groan an infinity later, sounding put-upon.

“I was going to take it slow and everything,” Hide complains, “I was going to be such a gentleman.” Kaneki can feel him moving slightly, shaking his head, and the hands in his hair ruffle it affectionately. “I forgot I fell for a temptress.”

Kaneki chuckles, blushing, happy and content and thinking  _I'm nothing like that,_ but pleased to hear it anyways .

Hide lets out another sigh. “And now I have to get  _ dressed.  _ And  _ walk. Ugh.” _ Hide sounds particularly disgusted by that final prospect and Kaneki’s heart speeds up it’s beating.

_ ‘No,’  _ he tells himself.  _ ‘Don’t embarrass yourself again. Stop being pathetic— _

“You don’t have to go,” Kaneki says, his voice a whisper of sound.

“Hm?” Kaneki doesn’t respond so Hide give him a little shake around the shoulders. “What’d you say?”

Feeling his cheeks go hot, Kaneki pulls away, sitting up. He fidgets with the edge of a sheet.

“You could sleep here,” he mutters, so ashamed of his neediness he can’t speak much higher than a low murmur. “Go back home in the morning. If you want. It’s no big deal, I just thought I’d offer,” Kaneki’s babbling, but he’s so uncomfortable he can’t seem to stop. “It wouldn’t even have to be together, I have a pull-out—”

Hide suddenly tackling him onto the bed stops him short with a startled shout. Arms wrap around him, holding him firmly against Hide’s chest, and Kaneki feels his head resting on top of his, tucking Kaneki's face against his neck.

“You are so cute!” Hide yells, as if he’s so overcome with the knowledge he can’t help but shout.

Blushing, Kaneki breaks the hold just enough to meet Hide’s eyes with his own panic-stricken ones, palms slightly slapping his chest.

_ “Shh!  _ I have  _ neighbors,  _ Hide!”

“Hey!” Hide sounds wounded, like Kaneki’s little taps are stinging blows. “It’s  _ your  _ fault,  _ I’m  _ the victim of your cuteness overload.”

Kaneki rolls his eyes but Hide darts down and plant a quick kiss on his lips, dark brown eyes watching him fondly.

“Thank you for letting me spend the night, Kaneki.”

“I…” His retort is pushed from his mind at the sight of Hide’s smile and he answers it with a small one of his own. Will he _ever_ stop blushing? “You’re welcome.”

Hide pulls away to tug off the sheets, now soiled, and carries them with him out of the room. He ducks into the bathroom, easy to tell from the water Kaneki can hear running. Hide comes back with a damp washcloth and Kaneki shivers a moment later when he wipes it over his skin in swipes, the slightly warm cloth wiping up the mess he’d left on his stomach.

Hide tosses the cloth away and unfolds the blanket resting at the end of the bed. He opens it in a snapping motion, hitting Kaneki with a burst of air that feels frigid on his sweat-cooling skin and then he’s covered, head to toe.

Kaneki pops his head out the top just as Hide slips in beside him, making a show of fluffing his pillow as Kaneki watches with dry amusement.

Once Hide settles he pats his chest invitingly, giving Kaneki an expectant look.

This time Kaneki rolls his eyes, but it’s mostly for show as he’s more than happy to be pressed against Hide for the night.

Hide yawns loudly and obnoxiously and leans over to turn off the lamp on Kaneki’s bedside table.

“Goodnight, Kaneki,” Hide says sleepily, leaving a kiss on Kaneki’s forehead.

Feeling shy yet almost unbearably happy, Kaneki smiles and closes his eyes.

“Goodnight.”

For a moment, there's blissful quiet, but then Hide speaks.

“Sorry if I snore too loud.”

Kaneki knows for a fact that Hide doesn’t snore, and Hide knows that, but instead of pointing that out, Kaneki smiles in the dark.

With a shrug he merely replies, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Hide lets out an indignant squawk, so loud and offended Kaneki bursts into laughter and doesn’t stop until Hide kisses him, both of their smiles pressed together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's with these guys and practically doubling my word count when they start kissing? Seriously, it's getting ridiculous...
> 
> Thank you all for reading/kudo-ing/commenting! It made writing this a very easy choice. And who knows? Another story may very well be in their future. 
> 
> Thank you all again, and I hope you enjoyed reading this garbage.


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